I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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