my vag is so smooth its legendary
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
