im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
did you just send me my own nude
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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