"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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