yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
