I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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