he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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