Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
