I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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