I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
