Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
