I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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