this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Is Oprah even human
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
