4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
