Banned from zoo.
Again?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
