God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
