i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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