ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
