So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
