Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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