i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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