she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It's never too late to be topless.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
