Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
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