she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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