Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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