I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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