i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
