Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
you're hired as official boob wrangler
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
