i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
