You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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