dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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