I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
