I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
