hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
