ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Randomize
