Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
