Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
