the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
