I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
