Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
