so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
