Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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