and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
