At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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