I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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