hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
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