I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
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