Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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