More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Randomize
