I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
