Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
it's like heaven, but drunker
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
How does one acquire holy water?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
